How Thinking Differently Can Change the Direction of Your Life
When I was young, I developed a habit that would eventually influence the way I approached just about everything in my life. I paid attention to people. I watched the decisions they made, how they treated others, how they approached their responsibilities and, perhaps most importantly, what happened to them afterward. I didn’t necessarily recognize it as a philosophy at the time. I was simply observing the world around me and beginning to understand that the choices people made often had a great deal to do with where they eventually ended up.
I began connecting three things: choice, consequence and outcome. If someone repeatedly made certain choices and I could see where those choices eventually took them, I understood that making similar choices might lead me toward a similar outcome. And if I didn’t want their outcome, why in the world would I make the same choices? It seemed pretty obvious to me that if I wanted a different result, I needed to pay attention to the decisions that were producing the results I was observing.
Interestingly, some of the most valuable lessons I learned came from people whose lives I didn’t want to emulate. Of course, I learned from people I admired, too. I watched successful people, thoughtful people, kind people and people who seemed to approach life with discipline and purpose. But I also paid attention to people who repeatedly made choices that created problems for themselves or others. Sometimes the consequences of those choices were so visible that the lesson was impossible to miss.
Over time, that way of observing people became part of a philosophy I call Rocks & Balloons. I’ve come to believe that we can learn a tremendous amount from the people around us, including those who demonstrate qualities we admire and those whose behavior reminds us of what we don’t want to become. We don’t have to experience every mistake ourselves to learn from it. Sometimes watching what happens to someone else can teach us just as much, and occasionally even more, because we have the advantage of observing the situation without being emotionally involved in it.
But as I thought more deeply about the relationship between choices and outcomes, I realized something was missing from my original thinking. The word consequence tends to carry a negative meaning, and choices aren’t inherently negative. Good choices can create wonderful benefits just as poor choices can create difficult consequences. Both influence where we ultimately end up. That realization led me to what I call The Equation of Choice.
CHOICE → BENEFIT/CONSEQUENCE → OUTCOME
It’s important to understand that this isn’t a mathematical equation suggesting these things are equal. It’s a progression. We make choices, those choices produce benefits, consequences or some combination of both, and those effects help shape the outcomes we experience. Most people experience this equation from left to right. We make a choice, experience its benefits or consequences and eventually discover the outcome. Sometimes we’re pleased with where we end up. Other times we’re disappointed, frustrated or left wondering how things turned out the way they did. And sometimes we find ourselves asking, “How did I get here?” Well, in many cases, the answer is sitting somewhere in the choices we made along the way.
But here’s where I believe the real value of this philosophy begins. The equation doesn’t change. What changes is where we begin thinking. What if, instead of making choices and discovering our outcomes, we reversed the way we approached decision-making? What if we began by identifying exactly what we wanted to achieve and then carefully evaluated all the choices available to us before deciding what to do? Think about how much more informed our decisions could become. Instead of simply reacting to circumstances or making decisions based on impulse, emotion, habit or convenience, we could begin by considering where we actually want to go.
Once we’ve identified that outcome, the next step is to examine the assortment of choices available to us. Every important decision presents options, and each option has its own potential benefits, consequences and outcomes. The key is to mentally map out where each choice is likely to lead before deciding which one to make. Imagine being faced with an important decision and having three available choices. Let’s call them A, B and C. Instead of simply choosing the one that feels right in the moment, consider what is likely to happen if you select A. What benefits might it produce? What consequences could follow? And where is that choice likely to take you? Now consider B, and then C. As you mentally work through each possibility, you begin developing a clearer picture of the likely outcome of every available choice.
And once you’ve considered those possibilities, you can compare them against the outcome you actually want to achieve. That’s when the best decision often becomes much clearer. You’re no longer simply choosing what feels right or what’s most convenient. You’re choosing based on where you want that decision to take you. Sometimes, after evaluating all your options, you may even discover that the best answer isn’t one choice at all. It might be a combination of two or three choices that together create a better path toward your desired outcome. That’s an important distinction because the objective isn’t simply to identify one good choice. It’s to evaluate the available alternatives and determine which choice, or combination of choices, gives you the greatest probability of achieving what you want.
We can put this philosophy into practice by asking ourselves three questions, in this order. First, OUTCOME: What exactly do I want to achieve? Second, EVALUATE AVAILABLE CHOICES: What options do I have, and what are the likely benefits, consequences and outcomes of each? And third, MAKE THE BEST CHOICE: Which choice, or combination of choices, gives me the greatest probability of achieving my desired outcome? By approaching our decisions in this sequence, we’re no longer simply making choices and waiting to see where they take us. We’re thinking differently.
OUTCOME → EVALUATE AVAILABLE CHOICES → MAKE THE BEST CHOICE
The first equation demonstrates how our choices influence the outcomes we experience. The second demonstrates how we can make better decisions by starting with the outcome we want to achieve. And here’s why I believe this is so powerful. People who consistently learn to think this way can develop a tremendous advantage over people who make decisions without first considering where those decisions are likely to take them. Rather than simply reacting to what’s happening in the moment, they’re evaluating possibilities, anticipating consequences and making decisions based on the results they want to achieve. They’re thinking ahead, making choices with purpose and giving themselves a better chance of achieving their goals.
This connects directly to another philosophy I’ve developed over the years: Think in Outcomes. It’s not enough to simply know what you want. You have to understand the relationship between the outcome you’re hoping to achieve and the decisions you’re making along the way. Think about something as simple as wanting to become someone others can consistently depend on. That’s the desired outcome. Now consider the choices available to you. You could improve your communication, become more organized, pay greater attention to detail, follow through more consistently on commitments or take greater responsibility when something goes wrong.
Each of those choices has the potential to produce a positive result. Better communication creates greater clarity. Organization helps prevent missed deadlines and overlooked details. Following through builds trust. Taking responsibility demonstrates accountability. By evaluating the likely outcome of each choice, you can determine which actions will make the greatest difference. And you may discover that combining several of those choices creates a much stronger path toward becoming someone others can depend on. Instead of simply hoping to become more dependable, you’ve identified specific choices that can help you achieve that outcome.
The same principle applies to almost every area of life. If you want to become healthier, you can evaluate the choices available to you regarding exercise, nutrition and daily habits. If you want stronger relationships, you can consider how different approaches to communication, patience and understanding might affect those relationships. If you want greater professional opportunities, you can examine how learning new skills, embracing change, taking ownership and contributing more to others might influence your future. In each case, the process is the same. Identify the outcome, evaluate the available choices, consider where each is likely to lead and then select the path that gives you the best chance of achieving what you want.
Of course, there’s an important distinction I don’t want anyone to misunderstand. I’m not suggesting that we control every outcome in life. We don’t. Circumstances, luck, other people and unexpected events all play a role. Sometimes we make excellent choices and still experience disappointing outcomes. And sometimes people make poor choices and get lucky. But while we can’t control everything, we can influence the probability of many of the outcomes we experience. That’s what makes intentional decision-making so important. It’s not about believing we have complete control over life. It’s about recognizing that our choices are among the most powerful tools we have for influencing its direction.
And here’s another thing I’ve learned. The choice most likely to produce the outcome we want isn’t always the easiest or most comfortable choice. In fact, quite often it’s the opposite. We want to be successful, but we don’t always want to make the sacrifices that success requires. We want better relationships, but we sometimes avoid uncomfortable conversations. We want to grow professionally, but we resist change or the effort required to learn something new. That’s where discipline becomes so important. Recognizing the best choice is one thing. Having the discipline to make that choice consistently is something entirely different. Sometimes the decisions that will ultimately benefit us the most are the very decisions that require greater effort, patience, courage or sacrifice.
I also believe there’s tremendous value in looking backward at the outcomes we’ve already experienced. When something turns out well, we should ask ourselves what choices contributed to that success. When something doesn’t turn out the way we hoped, we should examine the decisions we made and consider what we might do differently. Not every disappointing outcome is the result of a bad decision, but every experience gives us an opportunity to learn. And the more we learn from our own experiences and the experiences of others, the better equipped we become to evaluate the choices in front of us.
That’s where I come back to the lesson I began learning when I was young. Pay attention. Watch people. Learn from their choices and the outcomes that follow. Recognize the qualities you admire and the behaviors you don’t want to repeat. You don’t have to become someone else to learn from their experience. But most importantly, don’t wait until you’ve arrived at an outcome to begin thinking about how you got there. Start with the outcome you want. Consider all the choices available to you. Mentally map out where each choice is likely to take you. Compare those potential outcomes, and then make the decision that gives you the greatest probability of achieving what you want.
That’s the real secret to The Equation of Choice. Most people make choices and discover their outcomes. We identify our desired outcomes first, evaluate the available choices and the likely outcome of each, and then select the choice or combination of choices most likely to help us achieve what we want. And the more consistently we practice this way of thinking, the better we can become at making decisions that move us toward the outcomes we want.
Because sometimes the difference between where we are and where we want to be begins with something as simple as changing the way we make our choices.
